If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
should my penis look like a turkey
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
