hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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