I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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