matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
