I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
