They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
