Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
