I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
