Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
