yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
