Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
