Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
