I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
