do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
