This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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