He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
