I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
