you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
