mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize