apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
