Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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