It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
