we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
