I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
