I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
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seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
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And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar