drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants