Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.