Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.