She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have post one night stand depression
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