i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
