this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
