she woke up with a sticky ear
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Everclear isn't food dammit
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
