They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize