Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
