i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She told me I should be a condom model.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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