i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
