C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
