his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
