well I can't set my house on fire every night
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
