Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
