I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
A+ Viking dick
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
