do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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