I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I deserve this hangover.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
