If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it's like iHOP with fire
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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