there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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