it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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