What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
