I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
