I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
