I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
