My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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