So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
