We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
