Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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