I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
