how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
