Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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