Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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