It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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