my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize