Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
