She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
