we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize