she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
