Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
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I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
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Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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