My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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