East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
