If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
