I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
