Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
