Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
is it fun? or sober?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
