im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
