I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
