Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
