Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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