Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
